Struggling for success

We’ve all heard how ‘easy’ it can be to achieve goals and become successful – but sometimes, it simply doesn’t work out that way, does it?

1. Is your target unrealistic? Check the timescale you’ve set and the size of your goal. Chunk it down into smaller, more manageable steps. Really big changes in life can take many months if not years to achieve. The direction in which you’re travelling is much more important than the speed at which you go. As you’ve discovered, giving up too quickly means never getting there at all.

2. Is your motivation beginning to wane? Learn to give yourself a pat on the back – don’t wait for other people to do this. Each evening, write down three things that you could praise yourself for.

3. Are you moving the goalposts too frequently? Have you lost half a stone but feel bad because it’s still nowhere near your target weight? Have you recently been promoted to manager but know that the position of director is what you should be aiming for? It’s fine to be ambitious, but remember to tune in and appreciate the smaller successes along the way, otherwise you’ll always feel a failure.

4. Are you spending too much time in the wrong company? Other people can hold us back, and if you mix with people who are stuck in a negative mindset, you’ll find it harder to move forward. Get better friends and begin to model them.

5. Is fear holding you back? As life begins to move in a new direction it’s not uncommon to feel nervous and unconsciously give up making changes because it feels more comfortable to do so. Recognise this for what it really is rather than abandoning your goal completely.

6. Is your health and wellbeing letting you down? Are you failing because you’re tired, suffering from a lack of energy or an illness? Make this a priority: take better care of yourself and ensure you’ve plenty of time for relaxation. Once you’re back on form, you’ll find it so much easier to move forward.

7. Truly stuck and don’t know what to do – then ASK! Start brainstorming and ask friends, family, colleagues or experts on how they would solve this particular problem. Visit libraries, read books and newspapers or search on the internet. Pretty much every problem that exists has already been experienced by someone else and been successfully solved. Track down your solution.

Alicia Eaton is a Behavioural and Emotional Wellbeing Specialist based in London’s Harley Street.  You can read more about how to make your successful in her book – “Fix Your Life with NLP”.  Download a free chapter from this website.